Living in Integrity Throughout My Life
Throughout eclipse season, the word 'integrity' continued to come up for me. I reflected on what it looks like to live in integrity with my word and the life I am desiring as well as the type of person I want to be. I was faced with a few situations that felt out of integrity and it made me realize how much I value integrity.
in·teg·ri·ty [noun] the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.
What Integrity Means to Me
When you search the definition of integrity, you initially get the definition written above. But beneath, you get, "the state of being whole and undivided" and I really like that. When you live in integrity, it's a state of wholeness – a union between your word, your desires, and your actions.
I’ve stopped doing things that I don’t want to do. I’ve stopped saying yes when I really mean no. And I’ve stopped feeling guilty for bailing when I last minute don’t have the energy for something. That doesn’t happen often, since I try to only commit to the things I have time and space for.
I used to be someone who felt obligated to say yes to every social engagement, opportunity, experience, or thing that crossed my path. I felt like I’d miss out on something if I didn’t go. This led to me spreading myself too thin, always thinking about the next thing, and never being fully present where I was. I was constantly running around and soon became resentful because I wasn’t putting my energy where it actually wanted to go.
What I Do Instead
Now, I take a step back before I commit to something.
I look at the bigger picture.
At how my energy is in that moment and all of the things I have coming up.
I check in with my body to see how I FEEL about this commitment — is it something I can fully show up for or will my mind be elsewhere?
The truth is, I want to be fully present with every single thing I do. The way I see it is if I am doing something or seeing a person just because I feel some sort of obligation it is doing a disservice to them because I am not fully present or showing up.
The Bottom Line
My energy is precious and it is valuable. I am intentional where I put it because I want to be fully IN whatever I am doing. I want people to know that I am here with you because I want to be here. If I don’t have the energy or time to rush around trying to do everything — I know I’ll never be able to do everything so I might as well do the things I really want to do. Living in integrity goes with living with intention. For me, it's about being clear with where I want to put my energy so I can fully show up to those things. I get clear by creating space and making room for my desires and the "hell yes" in my life. Nothing less.