How I Built My Dream Life at 23

My life didn’t just suddenly become aligned with my dreams overnight. It wasn’t when I stepped into that flight to Hawaii last year or when I moved to Mexico City. I’ve been creating this life for years and it wasn’t when I got to the places I wanted to go that I fell in love with this life I am living but rather when I fell in love with my life as is, first. My dream life was something I created, through experiencing what I did want and learning what I didn't.

There are two parts to how I created the life of my dreams: getting clear on what I wanted and falling in love with my life without all of those things.

Getting Clear on What I Wanted

I lived at home in Kentucky for 9 months during the pandemic. During this time, I graduated college and spent the other 6 months twiddling my thumbs trying to figure out what to do with my life. With so much pressure of finding a job and making money; I felt stuck because I knew what I truly wanted to do was travel. But how could I make that happen?

Early on in the pandemic, once I realized this thing was going to last a lot longer than anticipated, I decided to make the most of my time living in my childhood bedroom. I sat down with myself and asked, what does a perfect day look like?

I knew that my true desire to travel wasn’t an option but I decided to get clear on what else I wanted – what were my core desires? What life did I really want to live? And how could I begin living that life right now? What did this dream life entail?

When I got clear, what I wanted was simple. I came to 5 core pillars of my desires which included: space for my spiritual practices, movement, connection, learning, creativity, and getting outside. Once I got clear on these simple things, I was then able to structure my life to support and prioritize them. Through this, I began to play and discover more of what I wanted in life and thus, discover more of myself in the process.

This work served as the foundation for where I am now but it also took a lot of trust. When I got the opportunity to volunteer in Hawaii, even though it wasn’t exactly what I thought I wanted, I took it. I had no idea what I would do after my three-month volunteer contract, but I trusted I would figure it out.

Life as an experiment

At this point in my life, I see life as experiencing and gathering information. It’s like life is one big experiment. The more I do, the more I learn. Maybe I learn a skill or meet someone, or maybe I simply learn what I don’t want. When I shifted to this mentality from a mentality of “I need to figure everything out as soon as possible and I can’t make any mistakes,” I was able to give myself freedom.

The truth is, we put so much pressure on ourselves. At least, I know I did. Even for all of 2021, as I was living this “experiment” of not planning, moving around every few months, and seeing where life would lead me; there was a voice in the back of my head saying “you need to figure something out.” That little voice kept me stuck. It kept me trapped in this endless loop basing my worth on job status or money or having some sort of future plan. It kept me from being present.

The more I experienced, the more I got clear on what I wanted in life. Because of the foundation of appreciation and gratitude for the present, I was always able to enjoy where I was while also knowing what I wanted to be different. Hawaii and New York were too expensive. Guatemala was beautiful but I wanted a bigger city. When I arrived to Mexico City, I took a deep breath, looked around, and recognized this is what I had been preparing for. This was the dream life that had been circulating throughout my brain for years. I was finally here.

Loving My Life Right Now

I did the work to allow me to recognize when I arrived at the dream life I had been thinking of for so long. At the moment, it felt as if things just sort of magically came together. But, I know it goes deeper than that. In the years of spending getting to know me, I continually got clear on my values and priorities in life. Throughout the past 5 years, I have diligently spent time sifting and searching to discover what I want from life. And I trusted it was possible for me.

So here I am, for now. I am still experimenting and gathering information to discover how life can become even more aligned. But I look around and am filled with so much gratitude for this life. I spend my days in awe at the world around me – for I have come to a place where my desires are in alignment with my reality.

Sometimes I look around in disbelief that this life is really mine. I knew it was possible but didn’t always know if it was possible for me. I had no idea how I would get here but I continued to trust in my unique, beautiful journey. And to think things will continue to get better from here – what a beautiful thought.

When you put in the work, the inner work, you will be unstoppable. It requires a deep devotion to self and the courage to follow your own path; not the one laid out for you. It may seem as if my life is all sunshine and roses, and I simply ended up here; but it takes a lot of heavy lifting behind the scenes. Stay on your own path and know that the life you desire is here for you, always. Get clear and don’t forget to appreciate where you are right now.