I Stopped Trying to Find My Dream Job And Started Living My Dream Life
It got to a point where I was so stressed to figure out what to do with the rest of my life; that I became completely lost from my own life.
Where I Started
I graduated college during the pandemic which put me down a spiral of pressure, fear, and self-doubt. Questioning my abilities – I questioned whether or not I should settle for a life of stability and I questioned what direction I even wanted to go.
But all it takes is one step forward.
Growing up, I had a 5, 10, and 15-year plan that I was committed to live by. I thrived in knowing what was coming next and tried to control every outcome possible. We all know control, stability, and this knowingness is an allusion but it gave me a sense of safety.
The year and a half after graduating, I was on a mission to “figure things out.”
At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Thankfully, I had a few things that pointed me in a direction towards this clarity I was seeking. I knew I wanted to travel, to do something different than the majority of my peers, and to be out in the world. I was aware of the life I wanted to live but had no idea the career that would get me there.
What We're Taught
Because, you see, growing up I learned to focus on career plans. Adults told me to pick a career and work towards that. In this Capitalistic society, we prioritize work, career, and making money above all. I had this notion that I had to find my dream job sooner rather than later; or else I was somehow wasting my life.
I wanted it all.
The dream life.
The dream job.
Making 6 figures right out of college.
That first year, I invested in workshops, memberships, and courses to gain skills (and hopefully clarity). I tried to monetize my passion project and blog because, that’s what I’m supposed to do, right? I tried so hard at all times to create this dream career out of nothing; because I’m stubborn and thought I had to find my dream career.
Turns out it doesn’t work like that.
The Reality
I made some money and did start living the life of my dreams with travel and volunteering and living nomadically. But none of that ever felt sustainable. It was like I was constantly trying to figure out something “for now” but nothing that felt good. I dreaded the work I was doing even it “looked right on paper,” but my ego was leading the show and that’s why I felt so uncomfy.
It took me taking a step away from everything. Going off the grid for a month, and spending a little too much time staring at a lake in Guatemala contemplating my life plans to finally get out of my own way.
One day, as I was soaking up the magic of Lake Atitlan, I looked at my life and realized that I was living my dream life. At the time, I wasn’t making any money and felt so far away from “figuring out my dream job” but I was–I am living my dream life.
I contemplated a couple of opportunities that came into my life before I left which felt like the opposite of what I wanted to do at the time. I thought about my core beliefs and my mission to help people, be creative, and be able to live the life I desire and realized my ego was holding me back. My ego told me, “because this opportunity isn’t your dream job, you shouldn’t take it, it’s a disservice to yourself.”
But sometimes we don’t always know what is right for us.
Life is a journey.
And life is meant to be lived, not worked.
I realized that yes, making money is important and I need money to support me to live the life of my dreams. But if I am able to do something that gives me that support while also allowing me to be creative, help others, and be my own boss, isn’t that all I could really ask for?
My ego wants to be different and my ego wants to be the best.
Those two things held me back for so long.
Where I'm At Now
What I’m doing now, likely won’t be what I’m doing forever and that’s okay. I’m 23! I want to be living my life, experiencing life, exploring the world not focusing so hard on trying to force this “dream career” to happen.
The way I see it, I’m gathering information and experiences so that one day I will put them all together and this “dream career” will magically find its way in my lap. Or maybe not. I don’t really know. But I do know that finding this career isn’t the most important discovery of your life. Life is meant to be lived and it is an opportunity to discover yourself.
I’m grateful to have released this pressure.
Now, I’m living a life that I didn’t even think was possible. I wake up each day in awe at my life and the experiences I am having. Maybe I’m not making the most money in the world but I am making enough to support the life that I desire to live and that’s all that matters to me.
You Can Do It Took
Get clear on the life you want to live. Focus on how you want to spend your energy, where you want to be, what things are important to you, and begin building your life around those principles. It’s available to you at all times – sometimes you just have to get out of your own damn way. Follow along on Instagram for inspiration and expansion <3