How to Find Grounding Within Yourself and Not Money

I'm in a sticky place with money right now and in order to get all of the shadows out of the corners, I'm going to name it all right here and now. I'm a semi-recent college graduate and it seems like all society has programmed into my mind is, "Get a job and make as much money as you can." Which is fair, life is expensive and debt is no bueno. We live in a capitalistic society and I've learned, that means, most people have shit with money. It's like the mysterious entity that everyone is trying to figure out. Money is definitely a Scorpio aka you're never going to figure them out.

This isn't a post entirely about money, or how to heal your relationship with it. I am still very much working on that part of this equation and if you want to learn more, my friend Morgan is an amazing resource. I want to challenge the idea that money is the only source of feelings of grounding and stability in life. Because of that, I want to talk about how to cultivate a true sense of safety within yourself that money often gives the false illusion of.

I don't have it all figured out

I am very much in the process with all of this so we are working through it together. It doesn't matter how much or little you make. How you make your money. Or what your money story has been up until today. I believe that if we rely on one singular thing to give us our entire sense of worth, safety, and grounding within life; it's not sustainable. So with that, there are some other things I am going to implement to cultivate all of those things for myself, within myself.

Discernment around Money

Discernment is a term I learned in my Jesuit college. It means, "the ability to judge well." The first step to figuring all of this out is to discern. Reflect and get clear on how money makes you feel, how you use it, if and why it feels triggering. For me, discernment is a deeply intentional way of reflection. I'm using this step first because I am curious to know what money represents for me. When I have a clear understanding of it in my life, I can then support myself in that same way using tools or practices aside from relying on money.

Some Journaling Prompts:

• When I think about money, how does it make me feel?
• What does money represent to me?
• If I had no money at all, would my worth change? Why is it different than if I had all the money in the world?
• Which areas of my life feel stable, strong, and reliable? Which areas don't? What is the difference between the two?

Daily Practices

I've been slacking on the practices that make me feel whole. Yeah, the meditation, reading, journaling, and all the daily routines that I talk so much about. It's okay, it's a season of life that I'm in. In midst of transition, when I need these practices most, I often let them slip away. Sometimes the easiest way to get out of a rut is to connect back to your tried and true practices. For me, meditation is the biggest one that I know helps me with a sense of grounding. In addition, time in nature is vital to feeling nurtured by the world around me. Nature is not as easy to come by in NYC as it was in Hawaii but thankfully there are many parks in the city I have yet to explore.

Nourish Your Soul

Whenever I feel wonky with money, I always have a conversation with myself about my personal values. Some weeks I spend more than others, I know that's how life works. But even still, things feel uncomfortable so I ask myself, "Am I spending to spend, or am I spending on things that really nourish my soul?" Checking in with myself about priorities and personal values is helpful for me to get my head back in check about the spending. For example, I would rather spend $30 on a workout class than $30 at the bar. But you have to set those own values for yourself. In addition, I find that when any area of my life feels out of wack, I have not spent enough time nourishing my soul. More time spent with me, less time scrolling on social media, more time doing the things that are a hell yes, and less time doing the things I feel obligated to do. It's a give and take that requires a continuous check-in to see where we're at.

The Money Dilemma

I am living my life to live, not to make a living. My priority is not in becoming a billionaire but rather to full squeeze the most of this fleeting experience called life. Money has been a dilemma for me lately because, in today's society, the emphasis is on making a living. You need money to survive; that's a fact. But I and my Aries and Aquarius placements want to do it differently. Placing living at the forefront is a lot easier said than done and I'd be lying if I said I don't constantly doubt myself and my decisions. But I honor that doubt because I know it is just a part of me trying to keep myself safe. I don't know where this conversation about money will go or how my relationship with this mysterious entity will evolve to.

This conversation may feel uncomfortable. I've found it's much easier to push any sort of money talk or money reflection out of the way but that's simply putting a band-aid on the problem. I want to be honest with myself and I want to work through these sticky areas of life because I think it's something that needs to be discussed. Grounding, safety, stability, and all of the things we look to money for can be found in many other ways. Find those ways for yourself and watch the whole world open up to you.