Self Care For When You Aren't Feeling Like Yourself

I see life as this never ending rollercoaster filled with ups, downs, twists, and turns. When things are good, eventually things will get worse and when things are bad then will inevitably get better–that's just a fact of life. My whole life I have been constantly chasing this unattainable constant high. After experiencing my first truly low period in high school, I made a pact with myself to never feel those feelings again. There's always been this expectation and when things aren't feeling so bright or I'm going through a funk, I beat myself up about it which makes things even worse. But keep in that cycle of self-destructive behaviors is not healthy–self care has become a tool that I use to get back to feeling like myself.

Since coming abroad, I have really seen just how life is just like a rollercoaster. I expected, as most do, that this year in Belgium would be sunshine, good food, and the most amazing times of my life. Those three things have been a big part of this year but I never accounted for just how dreary Belgium is, getting sick, or just weeks that I feel numb, unmotivated, and not really like myself.

These past two weeks have been one of those low periods. It's May and the cold and dreary weather feels more like January. The lack of sunshine definitely plays a role in all of this but it's more than that. I've been sick with allergies and have allowed myself to lay in bed and watch Netflix which has spiraled into losing all motivation for anything. The feelings of an itchy throat and the lack of Vitamin D have translated into this feeling of melancholy. The simplest tasks such as laundry and cleaning my room have felt impossible. Laying in bed watching Netflix or scrolling on Instagram comparing my current reality to all of my friends who are traveling each weekend is much easier but also contributes to this general sadness. I haven't had the motivation to do many of the self care tools that I usually abide by.

I'm not writing this for pity or as a call for help. Actually, to help you feel not alone and to share the tools and tactics that I use to get out of this downward spiral into nothingness. Over the years, these funks have appeared less and less (thankfully!!) but I have developed self care tools that I know work for me. Little things that get me out of bed and get me feeling more like myself. Think about your non-negotiables or the little things in life that make your heart smile. Start small and be consistent. And always be kind to yourself.

Simple Forms of Self Care

Feel it all

I think we so often have this initial reaction towards the not so fun feelings to ignore them or push them so far down that we don't feel them. And I think we all know that's never a really good idea. It's not fun or easy but when I am feeling things, I like to really feel them. I journal, I sit and just feel sad, I talk about them. I try and just observe them rather than judging them. Feel them, accept them, and let them go.

Start small

When even the smallest task feels so overwhelming, start small. This week (after doing nothing except watch Netflix last week...like I didn't go to any classes lol) on Monday, my only goal was to attend my oNE class. Not even to stay the whole time (I did :)) but just go. Then Tuesday, making it to class was a goal but I also added to take my bike to the repair shop. Wednesday, I added one more thing. I knew I had quite a few little tasks to accomplish this week but it felt too overwhelming to do them all in one day. Breaking things up makes them feel more attainable and is a great productivity tip. It's now the end of the day Friday and I got all of my to-do list (and some) done this week :)

Get outside and move

Fresh air, sunshine, and movement seriously heal me like nothing else. Lately in Belgium, the sunshine has been sparse so I have been taking Vitamin D each day but going to the gym and making sure I get outside each day has helped immensely. Last weekend, I don't think I stepped outside of my residence once and sh*t not having fresh air really messes with you. I try to get outside and move first thing in the morning. In general, I'm an early bird and I find that starting my morning with these things sets me up for a more productive and more clear-headed day. The Earth can provide the ultimate self care!

Reach out to someone you love

Again, another no brainer. I'm very lucky to have a close relationship with both of my parents and I call them for hours on end and just talk. There were days last week when I didn't feel like talking to anyone, and I didn't, but even just sitting in the kitchen with a friend lifted my spirits a bit. I made sure to schedule a couple of meetings with friends for coffee or lunch to get out of my head for a little bit. The people you surround yourself are so important for your mental health–friendships and relationships shouldn't leave you feeling exhausted (been there, done that it's not fun)

Think about the little things

I have quite a few non-negotiable feel good things in my life. In my everyday life and things that I know make me feel good when I'm not feeling myself. Every day, I meditate and try to journal. When I'm not feeling my best (and honestly I should probably do these things more often), I limit my time on social media, take a shower and shave/lotion everything, do a face mask, make a really yummy nourishing meal, change the sheets on my bed (I really need to do this more often lol). These little things sorta feel like a reset. Like a clean slate. They get me back in alignment.

After a week of sulking and a week of taking baby steps to feel like myself again, I woke up this morning feeling clear-headed and motivated to take on the day. I hate to believe that it's pretty impossible to be completely happy and have things be amazing all of the time but these lows force me to practice gratitude and take a step back from my life to see the bigger picture. Nothing is forever and we are all on our own journey. Mental health is so important and something close to my heart. I feel empowered by my feelings. In the moment it sucks feels shitty but it softens me. It reminds me to appreciate and be present during the high times. Self-care often feels cheesy or cliche but it's so impactful and it's one of the ways I am able to maintain good mental health.

I love you and you are incredible. I am so grateful for you and for this chance to share my thoughts and journey with you.