Life, I'm not scared of you anymore
We spend the majority of our lives in fear. Fear of failure, of looking stupid, of doing the wrong thing. Basically we live in fear of LIVING. I’ve talked about this before but I had an epiphany this week so I want to talk about it again.For quite some time, I have wanted to started making videos. Mostly for myself. But also for when I study abroad so my family has a way of semi experiencing all the magical, wonderful, and beautiful aspects of Europe. But this is something I want to do. Not something I think I should do for my resume (although it will look nice) or because people keep telling me to or because I feel like I have to. It’s for me.I kept putting off taking the first steps and playing around with editing video clips which would lead me to uploading them. I kept making excuses and putting it off because I felt like “I don’t have these skills so it’s not going to be good and there’s no point in doing it if it isn’t perfect.” Yeah, I know. Dramatic much? If I am doing something for myself, why does it have to be perfect? But why does anything have to be “perfect?”–even if we know that it never will be.So this past Thursday, I spent a few hours and threw together some footage. I liked the way it came out and I impulsively created a Youtube channel and uploaded and shared the video. The old Nikki would have spent weeks (maybe even months) on this simple little 2 minute video only to take even longer to build up the courage to upload in. The day that I uploaded the video, it hit me thatThe risk of “failure” or not being good enough really has no harm towards us. If I put something out to the world and it isn’t perfect or amazing, nothing is going to happen. Like anything, with practice, you get better. As I practice editing videos, I will get better. The more I write, the better I get. So honestly, why the hell wouldn’t I go ahead and upload this little video? Life is still going to go on regardless of if I post it or not so why not do something that gets me excited?I am sick of living my life in fear of silly things like not being good enough or “failing” whatever that means. So from here on out, I am taking life by the reigns and just enjoying it. I want to have fun and not be so afraid of everything. In all honesty, it’s comical to finally realize how much fear can control you.This whole “not living in fear” thing isn’t going to happen overnight and I know that but it is something I want to be more conscious of. Hopefully, I can realize that I am acting in fear and actively change that. It’s a process, as everything else is.I’d love to hear what you think about this topic–let me know :)Oh, if you'd like to check out my very first Youtube video check it out below![embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCc6rCPGojA&t=2s[/embed]