Self Love: how to begin transforming your body image

After 15 years of training as a dancer, my body image was always negative. I would stare at myself in the mirror and fixate on every single thing that made me "less than." I don't ever really recall a time before now that I have truly been comfortable in my body. And in all honesty, with our society, this isn't surprising. As women, we are taught from a very young age that it is naughty to "show off" our bodies. Criticizing, hating, and hiding our bodies is more common than loving our bodies. We are made to feel that we are never good enough or on the flip side, we are too much. The shame that women face regarding their bodies, sexuality, and femininity is unreal and needs to stop.I have been working hard on falling in love with myself. I have been doing a lot of inner work and I can honestly say that I wholeheartedly love who I am. The next step, which in my opinion is a bit harder, is falling in love with the outer features of myself. My body, my hair, my face–as it is. I don't mean this in a superficial way but how can I truly love myself if I ignore cultivating love for certain parts of who I am?

Step 1

Cultivating this love is more than telling myself that I am beautiful every morning or accepting compliments instead of brushing them off. For me, I have started with getting familiar with myself. As someone who danced for 15 years, I spent that time in a leotard and tights staring in the mirror constantly criticizing myself. There was no love at all. So now I have been exploring looking at myself (with and without clothes) in a loving way. No judgement but rather just observing what I see.

Step 2

The next step has been as simple as getting comfortable being in my body. This has meant a few different things. Maybe standing up taller when meeting new people instead of shutting down. It has also meant getting comfortable with showing a little more skin or wearing more form fitting clothes. Or being comfortable with my body in a bathing suit when I go to the pool...even if my body doesn't look like everyone else's (SPOILER: everyone's body is different...THAT'S LIFE) I'm currently working through this step...I have felt such a shift and let go of the shame I had to be in my body–reminding myself that the opinions/thoughts of other's are irrelevant has been really helpful.Just a little note on the "showing a little more skin or formfitting clothing" part: It is possible to wear those types of things without having it be in a sexual, promiscuous way. I can wear clothing that fits my body, shows off my body, and maybe turns a few heads without having it be a thing that "I want attention" or "I want to show off my body so boys are attracted to me." No, no, no. The way I dress is for me and when you have thoughtful intentions behind why you are wearing something–it doesn't matter whether or not it is "skimpy" or "conservative." Intentions are everything.

Step 3

Accepting what is and stepping into your power. I guarantee everyone has insecurities and everyone has things that they love about themselves. We were given one body and there comes a point when you realized that you just have to accept that you don't have the longest legs or will never been long and lean like a ballerina. It's hard letting go of this idea that we need to be perfect but I think by focusing on what you love and accepting those things you can't change, you begin to realize that every inch of your being is what makes you YOU. When you understand that, the magic and alllll the love comes sprinting behind.We, as women, are taught that we need to always be strong and that embracing our femininity is a sign of weakness. Being in touch with your feminine side (whatever that means to you) and truly loving who you are honestly seems like a taboo. Why is it that I hesitated to post tasteful pictures of myself in a bathing suit (which are the sit set of 'kini pics that I didn't have the urge to edit my body #progress!!!)? Why is it that when I step in to my full feminine power, I feel like I am doing something wrong?I am still working through all of this and working on falling in love with myself...if you have any thoughts feel free to reach out! In the mean time, Maddy Moon has a lot of great content on regaining your feminine back and letting go of all of the standards and expectations society puts on us as women.PS - one last thing, I recognize that my body is thin and although I have struggled with body image issues, I have always had a fairly thin body. In today's society, smaller bodies are generally considered "better" which is not true whatsoever. ALL bodies are good bodies and it is not bad to take up more space. Thin privilege is a real thing and I want you to know that you are so much more than your body, what you look like, etc. I have been working on loving the inner being of who I am for quite some time and it hasn't been until I really felt confident about that love that I moved on to outer loving. This stuff isn't easy and it's not always fun, I am always here to help :)