How to Set Boundaries with Social Media

When I got the notification that I was spending over 6 hours on my phone daily, I knew I needed to change something. Social Media is the main culprit of my addiction–it feels like a toxic relationship. On one hand, I get this intense high from the scrolling and instant gratification but on the other, I feel incredibly drained and like I am wasting my time. In the past few months, I've been reevaluating my relationship with social media and how I can set boundaries to integrate it into my life in a healthy way.

Before we get into it, if you feel consumed by your phone and social media, I highly encourage taking a few days to reevaluation your relationship with social media. I often take one weekend a month to take a break from posting and scrolling and realign my content. Creating intentions goes hand in hand with boundaries. This is a way to be more mindful of your phone usage which can make it feel more energizing and less draining.

Things you can do to create boundaries with social media

Unfollow/mute accounts that make you feel bad about yourself

Just like the people you surround yourself with affect how you view the world and yourself, the media you consume directly affects your subconscious beliefs. What I liked to do every few months is intentionally go through my feed and ask if I genuinely like the content I am seeing and ask if it makes me feel bad about myself. If I don't like the content or it makes me feel bad about myself, I mute the account or unfollow them. Curate your feed to reflect things you're interested in, care about, or are manifesting into your life (this can work like a vision board!)

Set time limits on your social media apps

If you have an iPhone, you can go into settings>screen time>app limits>add limit to set time limits on specific apps. I try to stay off of my phone from 8PM-8AM (I definitely check social media a few times after 8PM, I'm human too) and it serves as a good reminder to not stare at my screen too much during these hours.

Be mindful of just how much time you are spending on Instagram

Similar to setting time limits, I think in order to be more mindful about our social media usage, we need to be aware of just how much time we are spending on our phones. If you go into your Instagram settings, there's a page for your activity which will tell you, on average, how much time you're spending on the app. This number might be high but we have to look at the facts before we really get motivated to change the habit.

Set a timer to only spend a certain amount of time of apps you could spend forever on (*cough* *cough* Tiktok)

I love Tiktok and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I think some of the most creative content is coming from Tiktok and I get a lot of my inspiration from the app. But if you've been on Tiktok, you know it can become like a timeless vortex that sucks you in and makes it hard to stop scrolling. I can easily spend an hour watching Tiktoks without even realizing time has passed. Because of this, I set time limits to how long and how often I scroll through my For You page. If you find yourself losing time from scrolling through social media, this is a really great way to set more boundaries for yourself.

Focus on doing one thing at a time

How often do you scroll through your social media while doing other things like watching TV, walking, sitting through a Zoom meeting? If you're like me, it's probably an engrained habit to grab your phone and start scrolling the second you lose focus on what is right in front of you. A few summers ago, I challenged myself to eat every single meal without my phone in front of me. This forced me to be present and truly focus on savoring the food. By the end of the month, my digestion was better and I began listening to my hunger cues and honoring what my body needed. That's just one example but think about how you can be more present each day and focus on doing one thing rather than bringing social media into every second of your day.

Delete unnecessary social media apps off of your phone

When I had every single social media app on my phone, I would check every single one every time that I opened up my phone. Like, I would check LinkedIn...for fun. I haven't been active on Twitter or Snapchat for the past couple of years so I deleted those apps off my phone. Then I decided since Facebook, Pinterest, and LinkedIn could be used on a web browser, I'd delete those apps and only use them on my computer. I've found that without those apps on my phone, I am more intentional about checking my notifications. I typically spend less time scrolling and more time getting straight to business.

Turn of lock screen and banner notifications

If you follow through with one tip from this blog post, I suggest it be this one. Notifications used to be the bane of my existence. They would give me immediate anxiety and I would automatically check my phone the second the notification popped up. I turned off all lock screen and banner notifications from my phone and my life became loads easier. Without the notifications, I still check my phone and social media but I am much more intentional when I do check it. I set out time each hour to check things like Instagram, email, etc. and am less likely to just scroll for the heck of it.

Fill your downtime with other activities

Mindlessly scrolling through social media is an ingrained habit. Being aware of when we are likely to pick up our phone to scroll is really important. I found that when I took breaks from the apps, I was able to clearly see when I was picking up my phone out of habit–in the bathroom, in an elevator, waiting for something. Now that I have much more time free in my day, I find it easy to spend my time scrolling through social media mindlessly. I still do this! Often! But I try to do other things when I'm feeling restless and bored. Things like going outside, reading, meditating, doing yoga, or cooking have helped me pass time and have less free time to fill with social media.

Intentionally engage with content instead of mindlessly scrolling

The latest thing I have been doing with Instagram is intentionally engaging with content. It's easy to tap, tap, tap through stories or scrolling past every post skimming the caption and commented a heart or YES!!!. It requires much more effort to intentionally engage. Content creators often take a lot of time and energy to create content and captions. Taking the time to digest that content is a good mindful practice and out of respect for the content creator. Intentionally engaging works well once you've curated your feed. You're not going to take the time to really care about what someone is saying if you aren't invested in their content.

Give yourself grace

Remember that you're literally rewiring habits right now. We are used to picking up our phone mindlessly throughout the day. It takes a lot of time and effort to change that. Social media apps are made to be addictive. Continue to give yourself grace and know that as you become aware of your habits, it'll be easier to change them.

All of this is about living in the present moment and not going through days unconsciously. Small changes can make the biggest differences. I often ask myself if life would be easier if I just quit social media forever. But, I know that's not realistic. Social Media is a huge part of my life and has connected me with people throughout the world. I've realized in my discernment that it's about intentional use not giving it up completely. There is a way for me to use my phone and social media without letting it control my life.

What's your relationship with social media? Let me know in the comments below!