How to Find Self Expression in 2023
Is everyone making a Substack this year? Reclaiming my voice as an artist and writer in the age of influence from social media and the ease in access of art forms and content creation. Using self expression as a form of liberation rather than comparison.
It seems like everyone these days is launching a Substack these days – no, like, I think I’ve subscribed to about seven in the past four days which is exciting !!! But also a little daunting. I started mine this past summer and haven’t quite felt like I’ve found my voice, or my niche, or my true intention other than a space in which I can share the musings of my mind and explore the means through which I can find self expression.
Seeing other people do this encourages me and shows me a path forward but at the same time, it discourages me and invites my mind to think, is there room for me?
But the truth is, I started my Substack as a way to expand the limits of my own writing and self expression. I wanted to be disciplined with my creative practice and I knew the foundation of that is with my writing. The sudden influx of Substackers in my network makes me wonder if there is some sort of collective consciousness suddenly sponsored by this website or maybe some higher power telling me *this* is the path forward for me.
This year I want to focus on my art. In fact, I want to reclaim my own identity as an artist and weave my creative practice into my everyday life. So with that, I want to write. And paint. And draw. And dance. And expand my capacity to express myself in all of the mediums. I want to make self expression a way of life rather than just something I do for fun, or for work or because I think I should.
I’m fascinated by words and I feel so incredibly lucky to have some natural ease in weaving them together like a never ending quilt that creates a tangible representation of my life’s experiences and mental afflictions to go alongside them. But I want to refine that natural talent. I want to write, not just for the sake of putting my thoughts onto paper, but to make some sort of lasting impact in this world. I want to make people feel something. I want to shift from someone who journals a lot to someone who is a writer. Is there even a difference?
What is my voice as a writer? What thoughts do I want to convey? How does this archetype of an artist and fuller embodiment as a writer differ from the person that is writing these words today? Is there a difference between the two or just a shift in perspective?
Circling back to this mass migration to Substack as a platform for sharing thoughts, content and just about anything you can think of, it inspires me but I hold myself back from diving into too many of the minds around me. I fear that the more I take in, the less I will be able to find my authentic voice. Instead of getting inspired, I fear that I will feel like I have to create like this person, or that brand or that creator who I look up to so much.
To some extent, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think all art is an imitation or transmutation of something that has come before but when does your own inherent creative abilities get washed out by the chatter and creations of others? Where do you draw the line?
But then, I think, that influence is what makes us, us. When I teach meditation or yoga, I use the words and cues of my teachers because that is what I know and that is what I have been taught. But these cues are empty – they carry my essence which makes them different to when my teacher the very same words but there is no wrong or right, worse or better. It just is.
Today my mind feels like it is going every and nowhere at once. I am realizing the duality of my mind and its constant urge to bounce from two opposite ends of the spectrum in a millisecond. I am fighting a constant battle between this and that while often forgetting that life falls somewhere in the middle.
I wonder what would happen if I just chose something – if I simply picked that life was just this way. Or what if I allowed myself to soften into the middle experiencing both extremes and nothing at all?
Sometimes I feel the constant experience of duality cancels these extremes out and leaves me with everything and nothing all at once. Can you wrap your mind around that?
When I think about the themes that I want to write about, I think about the complexity of life and this constant push and pull between this or that. Maybe it’s just me, and you could see that as a flaw or a strength, but I have spent my entire life being pulled in two directions. It’s as if I can always see the other side and I need to have the most perspective in order to move forward with clarity and confidence.
I think about the push and pull between relationship to self and a deep yearning for an interpersonal web of connections to support, love and nourish me – something I often ponder and write about. I think about the duality between studying spiritual themes and feeling connected to a higher awareness way of being while also living life on the ground and in this material world. I think about creating versus consuming and how to develop as an artist (or human being) while remaining authentic but still accepting that you will always be influenced by the forces around you. I think about how, specifically in bigger cities and the western world, our society craves and strives for individuality but shames when you are not apart of a group. There are so many directions in which my mind moves and that is what I want to share.
I want to share the thoughts that people are too afraid to claim and the perspectives that we most often look past.
I am fascinated about the dark corners of our mind as a vessel though which we can come to appreciate the brightest parts of our life. This entire life is filled with duality and instead of resisting it, we must embrace it with open arms and accept that life is not always clear. There is not always a pathway forward and clear direction ahead – life is not filled with right or wrong and it’s not about finding the perfect path but looking at all of your options and going the way that feels the most supportive for you moving forward.
I want to catch all of the blind spots in life – for me and maybe even for you. I want to think about all of the possibilities and look at all of the ways that I am being influenced and then decide who I am, what I want and what my life is going to look like. And then go to sleep and do it all again the next day. Life is a constant dance between what was, what is and what will be. It’s never clear no matter how much you might think it is. This messiness – the grey area – is where I want to find solace.
So that is me and a peak into my messy mind on this grey LA Friday afternoon. Life keeps moving and so do I. I’m moving in the direction of, I guess, many other people looking to commit to more self expression this year in the form of writing and a Substack lol. Here we are. In the current of life. Allowing whatever unfolding is meant to happen, happen. I’m excited to see where this year takes me.
This was originally posted on my Substack, The Process. To learn and read more, subscribe here.