How I'm Embracing Stillness During Quarantine

I asked myself, "Why do I still feel like I am running out of time when I have just been given this opportunity to wipe quite a few things off my plate?" "Why am I avoiding stillness? Why did I suddenly add a million more things to my to-do list?"

It's been about 18 days since I've been home in Kentucky. In the past 18 days, I've left my house 4 times. Once to pick my brother up from the airport, twice to go on a run at a nearby park, and once to pick-up groceries for my family. The days have been going by surprisingly fast. I've been busy with online classes, cooking for my family, and spending time outside.

The first few days consisted of me running around at my normal pace–feeling rushed to complete everything and never having enough time in my 24 hours.

Truth is...slowing down (and god forbid, stillness) is scary.

I knew that this slowing down would require me to sit with myself, to look at the shadows that are still holding me back, to finally take the time to prioritize healing and my spiritual practice.

I was scared because I am being given a lot of choices about how I spend this time. Will I make the most of it? What about the lessons I am supposed to learn? Will I regret how I decide to spend my time?

All of those questions are valid. And I do think it's important to acknowledge how you are deciding to spend your "extra" time. But there's a caveat.

There's no right or wrong.

The most difficult thing I am navigating right now is, how can I just be? How can I allow myself space to not doing anything and trust that I'll work through things as I am supposed to?

I still don't have the answers but I can share what I'm doing to get more acquainted will slowing down.

MEDITATION

I'm giving myself time in the morning and evening to meditate. Usually my meditation time feels rushed and I never do more than 10 or 15 minutes. Now, I'm doing the longer guided meditations and exploring things like breath work and chanting and prayer. Meditation is a practice that has changed my life. It has given me the foundation to feel grounded and centered which is the root of being ok with stillness.

READING

I really do love reading. I have a laundry list of books I want to read but I always find excuses as to why I don't have time. Well, I do now. It feels really good to take the time to slow down and indulge in a good book each day.

If you're looking for some good reads on being in the present moment, these are my favorites: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, and Be Here Now or Polishing the Mirror by Ram Das.

LONG WALKS & SITTING OUTSIDE

Being in nature is so good for your body, mind, and spirit. I have been simply sitting outside and listening to the birds chirp or going down to a stream and listen to the water flow. It sounds simple but it's extremely therapeutic and I could sit there for hours. I've also been walking my dog each night with my Mom–it's a nice way to get some fresh air and move my body after a day of sitting inside for online classes.

MODIFIED TO-DO LIST

I've been simplifying my to-do list. I'm going to talk about it more in next week's blog post but basically, I'm expecting less from myself. Each day, I think of the things I absolutely have to do that day and I add them. Then I add some simple things that I always do each day like meditate and move my body. And that's it. I always have a running mental list of things I want to do but I don't expect as much from myself. As I cross things off my to-do list, I feel free to do what I actually want to do–sometimes that painting or working on my blog or getting ahead on work. But I don't expect myself to do everything I have to do for the next few weeks in one day because that's just not possible.

It feels really good to ease up on my personal expectations. It's funny, I have been yearning for some type of ease or slowing down in my life. While the circumstances are not what I would have wished for, I'm welcoming this uncharted territory with open, loving arms.

Stillness is teaching me to be kinder to myself, to prioritize things that feel good and not just what I feel obligated to do and to be okay with slowing down. There's nothing to fear, my dear. We're all going to be ok.

I'm sending you so much love.

Nikki