A Reflection of 5 Months in Hawaii & Where I’m Going Next
A week from the time I am writing this blog post, I will be settling back into my cozy bedroom at my childhood home in Louisville, Kentucky. I already know what I want for dinner (Feast BBQ) and I hope to be snuggled up next to my pup, Rudy. Five months in Hawaii and I have loved every second of it, so why am I leaving?
Before Hawaii
I came to Hawaii in January 2021 with a one way ticket and a promise to myself that I would listen to myself when I knew it was time to move on. I trusted that my intuition would guide me. For the first time in my life, I didn’t plan ahead but rather let the Universe work its magic. Believe it or not, things worked out. I stayed longer than expected but I knew exactly when my time was coming to an end.
I came to Kauai in April on a whim and really had no idea what to expect. Simply signing a two month lease and expecting to fall in love with the island and want to stay forever. While I have a deep love and appreciation for the island, the experiences I’ve had, and the people I’ve met; I don’t want to stay here forever.
When I felt like it was time to leave…
A few weeks ago, my brother mentioned coming up to New York City and staying at his apartment while he is out of the country. This was the first time since coming to Hawaii that I got a small little ping of, “Oh, maybe it’s time to move on.” Immediately, my mind went into overdrive thinking about how I’d be failing if I leave; worrying about what people would think about me; and fearing the unknown that would come from leaving Hawaii. Each day, my yearning to go home grew deeper. Slowly, I quieted down my ego and trusted that this was the inner guidance I was waiting for all along.
The truth is, my intention in Kauai was to build the foundation for my business and get the ball rolling with Naturally Nicoletta. I did that. Mama Kauai helped me to birth this new iteration of my brand and self, and I am forever grateful for that. But in reflection, I feel ready for what’s next. I feel like I’ve learned what I needed from Hawaii and now it is time to take the knowledge with me. I can’t explain it any better than, I feel my time is complete and I’m ready to move on.
What are my next plans?
What’s next? is one of the questions that is always on my mind. For now, I am going back home to Kentucky. I have shifted away from strictly planning my life but rather letting my intuition guide me and solidify plans on a shorter term basis. Right now, I’m in a flowy nomadic style of life. It’s not sustainable forever but for now, it feels good. I’m hoping to spend some time back on the East Coast for the end of summer. California for a wedding in October. Maybe a roadtrip, or two?! I have my eye on a specific place to spend the winter but I’ll leave that a surprise for now. Life is constantly in flow. I recognize that there is privilege in this way of life and I also recognize that it is a bit unconventional.
My younger self used to be someone who had to know what was next. There was always a 5, 10, and 15 year plan and I stuck to it. As I connect deeper to my divine feminine essence and strengthen my intuition, I’m focusing on what feels good and letting go of some of the control I had on my future. It has taken years to get to this place of surrender and I still find it difficult at times. It’s out of the box and unusual to live life this way but I like that. I like doing something different. I like pushing myself out of my comfort zone and running towards my fear threshold. That’s my favorite way to grow.
Am I sad to be leaving?
Weirdly enough, I’m not that sad to be leaving Hawaii. It’s bittersweet, for sure, but I am really excited to be going home. After 5 months of living in a completely new environment, I am looking forward for a bit more comfort and convenience. I will miss the beautiful scenery, the beach, and the slow pace of life. In addition, I will miss my friends and the little routines I have created for myself on Kauai. I will miss it, yes, but I am so excited for what is next that I have no doubts or hesitation. So far, following the unknown and trusting my inner guidance has given me more than I could ever imagine. This transition is no different.
Will I ever come back?
I think one of the biggest reasons that I am not that sad to be leaving is, I know I’ll be back. I’m not sure when or for how long but I know my time in Hawaii is far from over. Just like when I left Belgium, I feel deeply connected to Hawaii and see it as more than a place to cross of my bucket list. I have experienced deep healing through the energy that the islands possess. I know that whenever I need to retreat, connect deeper to myself, and heal in connection to the elements, Hawaii will be the place I come to. Maybe it will be years before I return or maybe I will come back in a few months, there are endless possibilities and that is the exciting thing about the unknown. Who knows what is next? I like to be surprised so I guess we will just have to wait and see.
Everyday I look outside in awe of the beauty around me and wonder, why do I want to leave this? I love life in Hawaii. It has been an incredible experience of learning about myself, slowing down, and feeling more deeply connected to the world around me than ever in my life. Despite all of this, I can’t explain the knowing that there’s more out there for me. I am endlessly grateful for my time spent in this beautiful state. I have deep reverence for the culture, land, people, and way of life in Hawaii. My time has taught me so much about myself and the world around me that I will hold with me forever. A hui hou, Hawaii. Thank you for everything.