Maybe This Isn't "The Best Time of Your Life"

"Live it up, kid, these are going to be the best times of your life." -Something we are told time and time again while growing up. The expectations we have on life often hold us back from fully living.I went into college thinking it would be the best four years of my life. And I came to Europe with a full wallet and open heart thinking the same thing. While I'm not diminishing how many these past few years have been, I'm trying to say that I don't think it'll be the best time in my life. At least not for long.There has always been this subconscious fear that I was going to peak and then things were all downhill from there. Maybe I peaked sophomore year in high school. Maybe I'm currently in my peak. Or maybe I won't even "peak" until I'm well into my fifties. This mindset that time is running out and that once you hit a really good point in your life, it'll never be that good again is so limiting.Life is a series of ups and downs. Some highs are a little higher and some lows are a lot lower. No matter who you are, where you live, or what your life looks like, these ups and downs are inevitable.  I've been thinking and talking a lot about these ups and downs. I often have this expectation because there's such pressure in having a perfect life and always be living in these "ups" that really there's no room to accept and acknowledge when things aren't so great. And because people don't really admit when things get crappy, we feel like it's not normal and then beat ourselves up over the inevitable seasons of life.Take studying abroad for example. Junior year is the main year that everyone studies abroad and it is when you see pictures of people traveling to different countries every weekend, finding themselves, and ultimately having the time of your life. For those who chose not to study abroad, this makes you feel like crap. But we can't forget about those who are abroad and don't travel every weekend or aren't having the time of their lives. The image of our lives that we put out into the world is just a highlight reel. It's easy to forget about that even though most of us subconsciously do it.God, there is so much pressure on us human beings to be so perfect all the time. This is not sustainable! There shouldn't be a norm of how to live life. Everyone is on their own journey and no one journey is better than the other. Just because you're abroad doesn't mean you have to expect yourself to travel every weekend. Just because you go to college doesn't mean you have to study abroad. Just because you're in your mid-twenties doesn't mean you have to start settling down. There is so much pressure to fit into this mold of our society's idea of what our lives should look like. I'm not only trying to go against this norm but CHANGE the narrative. We don't have to expect our lives to look identical.I'm going to scale back being so preachy because that's not what I came here to do. Moral of the story: have compassion and respect for yourself. Expectations hold us back. There is no timeline or pressure to live your life a certain way. There should be no fear in reaching the "best" part of your life (because, let me tell you, there are going to be a lot of really great parts). Just because everyone else seems like they are having an amazing time doesn't make you any lesser than if you feel differently. We are all on our own path and we must accept and respect paths different than our own.To show that, yes, studying abroad is a lot of traveling but also has a good amount of weekends that involve not really doing much except reading and Netflix...here is a What I Do In A Day video on a lazy Saturday :)Something I have been really trying to do is to show up as my authentic self. It's really freaking hard. It's hard being vulnerable and taking off the masks of all the identities you show to the world to cover up your true self. Navigating this while abroad has been hard and lonely but has been an incredible learning lessons. I am constantly being tested and reminded of my self worth and authenticity. When I was younger, I always tried to be who I thought everyone around me wanted me to be. I don't really remember a time that I was truly seen and that's because I never showed up as my self.This semester so far is...a lot more challenging than I expected. It's been amazing–don't get me wrong but not easy in the slightest. I expected to be best friends with people from all around the world, have a fairytale romance, and always feel on top of the world. These are all expectations I put on my life and of course you can't plan out life just like that so it's gone a bit difference. These hard moments are where I have grown the most so I can't be so upset over not having prospects for an Italian husband (yet...just kidding haha!)I missed writing things like this. I've been journaling a lot but it feels good sharing all the things racing through my head with the world. The travel guides are fun and I think can be useful for people traveling in Europe but they are a bit boring and soul sucking at times. So this is a good break :) I'm beginning to have less expectations of myself–for what I accomplish or do or simply, how my life looks like right now. It's freeing dropping these expectations and just doing what feels good.Let me know what you think and how you've been feeling lately. I'd love to chat!