2021: The Year of Play

This year has been a year...if you know what I mean. 2020 has tested all of us in many ways–between a global pandemic, the presidential election, natural disasters, the economy, racial injustices, just to name a few. I graduated from college in May and I have been living at home since March. I expected to graduate but I didn't expect to be living at home for this long upon graduation. Along with the apparent challenges of 2020, my mind has also been consumed with this inner turmoil of, what's next?

For much of my life, like most people, I have been focused on figuring things out. My mind never seems to stop having the loop of,

"What am I supposed to do with my life?"

"When am I going to begin living the life of my dreams?"

"Am I doing something wrong because I'm not hustling or grinding for something?"

"Is something wrong with me because I don't clearly know what I want to do with my life?"

In September of 2020, my perspective on my life shifted drastically (coincidentally aligned with my progressed moon moving into Sagittarius for the next 2.5 years but I digress). September is when I decided to take a break from social media and creating content for my blog, I started reading and working through The Artists Way by Julia Cameron, I began Danielle Paige's Astrology Mystery School, and I stopped making excuses for why I couldn't enjoy my life in my current reality.

While I could blame the cosmos for this shift, what really happened was that I was planning on moving to Hawaii to volunteer for a few months and that opportunity got put on hold (thanks, COVID) and I was forced to face, yet again, the idea that I had nothing planned for the future.

All year I had been in this weird transitionary phase of my life feeling like I was just waiting for some external factor to change in my life so I could finally begin living. Jokes on me because my life has already started. It's been going for over 22 years, baby. So when this opportunity got pushed back, I made the decision to start living the life I wanted to live. I stopped making excuses for how my external situation was stopping me from the things I was searching for when I would *finally* leave my hometown.

The truth is, you can start living your life the way you want to live it no matter what your external circumstances look like.

Sure, it might be easier to live an adventurous, spontaneous life when you are traveling the world (and I sure as hell still plan on doing that) but can you be creative enough to live a similar adventurous and spontaneous life right where you are?

Long story short, and you can read more in my Artists Way review, September shifted me into living the life that I want to live, and that led me to prioritize play. The Artists Way encourages prioritizing your "inner artist" by taking Artists Dates and making time for those things that you have always wanted to do but never have time for.

The 12 weeks working through the Artists Way led me to take a ceramics class, try circus and aerial arts, a solo trip to Cleveland, and spending a lot of time in nature. As the 12 weeks came to an end, I found a new understanding of myself and how much I love play and how I kept myself from it for so many years.

For much of my life, I was so focused on the endpoint (finding a career, making money, etc.) that I forgot that the magic and beauty is in the journey. Play is critical in healing our inner children as well as maintaining a sense of curiosity and exploration in life as an adult.

I feel grateful to be in a place of so much unknown right now. 2020 brought a lot of challenges and showed me that I don't need much to be happy or for my needs to be fulfilled. 2020 also taught me that life is too short to wait to live life on your own terms. As a 22 year old, I feel that I am in a unique place because I have the ability to build my life from the ground up in a way that aligns with my deepest desires because I don't have many things that are tying me down. Despite the societal push to figure out what you want to do with your life, I'm looking forward into my future with a blank slate.

What's the rush in finding stability and clarity?

As morbid as it is, the only thing certain in life is that we are all going to die one day. Literally, nothing else is set in stone. So why are we rushing to find that certainty?

I understand that the fear of the unknown is very real and very valid. To ease this fear I have begun to shift the perspective to see the unknown as a place of possibility. I like to think about my life in the way of how I feel when I am staring out at the ocean–it seems to be endless. There are so many possibilities in the unknown and I can choose to resist the ambiguity or I can lean into it.

For me, leaning into it looks like a whole lot of trust and following my soul's inner knowing. I want to dance with life. I want to play and explore and experience and figure things out along the way. Play is supposed to be fun. Life is supposed to be fun!

2021 will be the year of play. I will continue to follow my inner guidance and follow the things that pique my curiosity with no expectation for it to lead me anywhere except closer to alignment. The unique thing about playing is there's no right or wrong–when I approach something with a playful attitude, it doesn't matter if I'm good or bad but only if I'm enjoying it. If I don't enjoy it, I move on to the next thing with no hesitation.

As someone who so deeply desires to live out my soul's purpose and have clarity on what it is I am meant to do in this life, this way of thinking is new to me but I'm seeing it as an experiment. Trying so hard to force clarity hasn't gotten me very far in the past so let's see what this new way of thinking and living brings me.

Ultimately, life is meant to be experienced. I think, sometimes, we get caught up in doing the right things and "not wasting time" but our paths aren't linear. We have no way of controlling what is going to happen next and I think 2020 has been the biggest testament to that.

This year, I vow to prioritize play. I commit myself to place my inner guidance in the driver's seat and let go of any worries that I "don't have things figured out." I am simply accumulating information and a deeper understanding of myself so that when the time comes, I can show up and do the work that I am meant to do. I trust that I am being guided and led in my life and I don't have to worry because everything is happening as it's supposed to.

And for you, my friend, whatever this next year may hold, I hope that you are able to find more trust in yourself and in your unique journey. May 2021 bring you closer to your soul's desire and to a deeper understanding of yourself. Don't take things too seriously and continue to laugh, have fun, and admire the beauty of the present moment–life is passing by quickly.