Loneliness While Abroad

Anytime we have a change or move somewhere unfamiliar, loneliness can be expected. No matter how amazing your surroundings might be, loneliness is something that comes from feeling alone–it can be a yearning for familiar faces or language or a type of food. Loneliness is often inevitable in life but it does not have to ruin your experience.I have been in Leuven, Belgium for two months. These past two months have not only flown by but brought immense growth and change in my life. Although time seems to be going quicker and quicker, I feel like I have been in Europe for a year already. The past two months have been an incredible 60 days filled with good food, a lot of adjustment, a whirlwind of new faces and names to remember, but unforgettable memories. With that being said, in the past week, I have realized that the “newness” of everything is wearing off. The honeymoon phase is phasing out and I can see past all of the sunshine and roses (literally and figuratively because I think the cold dreary season is in Belgium for good).I am finally in a routine balancing class, traveling, mental health, and social life which feels good but also has given me time to step back and assess how I am doing. My best friend from Loyola visited about a month ago and that’s when I first realized “wow, I really miss her…and my friends back at school…and my family…and things like Whole Foods and Paulie Gee’s in Hampden.” Having this sense of comfort from home definitely brought some feelings of loneliness. If you look at it in another way, I could say that I am so lucky to have all of these things in my life to miss but it doesn’t make it any easier. It’s hard navigating this huge adjustment of moving to a new country while also dealing with new friendship dynamics, the stress of budgeting while abroad, and staying true to yourself without people like your best friends or family by your side.I have always been independent and I love that about myself. Despite being comfortable with my own presence, I have found it to be lonely at some times because it seems no one here truly knows you. For the most part, the people on this trip with me and the people that I have met while abroad didn’t know me prior to two months ago. I remember feeling this same adjustment when first coming to college because I felt like no one really knew me. Like I said, I love nothing more than to spend time with myself but many things are so much better experiencing with someone else. I've felt this sense of loneliness in regards to feeling comfortable, missing my friends, and missing the ease of knowing how life works at home.As I continue in classes and traveling and meeting new people, my eyes are opened up to an entire world that I was never aware of. There is so much to explore and see and people to meet–it’s incredible. But what about the people already in your life? This disconnect hasn’t been easy. While I think about my family and friends from home often, it is so hard explaining not only the things I have been feeling but even just what I have experienced while abroad. You know the saying, “you had to be there to understand it”? Yeah, that’s how I feel when trying to explain what I have been up to since getting to Europe.The fact that I am in Leuven for a year gives me a lot of comfort. I don’t have the pressure to travel every weekend (although November is about to be a whirlwind of hopping from country to country) and I know that this adjustment period will soon be over. I have been more adamant about staying connecting with my support system back home through texts, calls, and weekly Facetime while also allowing myself to be okay with this discomfort and adjustment in Europe.No matter how many times people told me that abroad wouldn’t always be this fun, amazing, happy time; I still sometimes feel shame around the fact that I am feeling lost and lonely at times. I have found talking about it with friends in the same situation has helped a lot as well. Studying abroad is always say to be such an incredible period of growth and growth always comes with growing pains. We are all experiencing it–in different ways and at different times–but it’s there and that is okay.Tips for Dealing with Loneliness while Abroad

1. Talk About It – whether it be with your parents, friends, program director, or just journaling about it. These feelings will pass and the best way to begin to feel better is to hear that you’re not the only person going through it.
2. Keep Yourself Busy – it’s when I am lying in bed all day, staying up late, and not doing much of anything that all of these thoughts get to me. When I am not feeling my best mentally, sticking to a routine (filled with working out, keeping up with school, eating nourishing foods, and making time for loved ones) is what makes me feel my best. For me, feeling productive and having a purpose for the day gets my head out of the endless overthinking.
3. Stay Open – this is the one I am working on the most. While abroad, or just away from those people in your life who always seem to lift you up, it’s easy to feel like no one else can replace them. And maybe they won’t! But that doesn’t mean other people can’t come into your life and give you a friendship/relationship just as good as you already have. You never know who could come into your life but you have to remain open enough to leave space for them.

I am very much an internal processor so when I go through periods of my life that are a little bit darker, I tend to isolate myself and go very internal. Which can be both good and bad. Lucky for me, all of this alone time has helped me find a new found passion, inspiration, and excitement for this blog (something I thought I lost forever!). I have a new WHY and it isn't about me anymore. I want to be that person I have always yearned for. Someone to help me realize that I am not alone on this journey. Someone to really see me and reassure me that it’s okay. I believe that my purpose in this life is to share my journey of living my truth to inspire others to live theirs. Whatever living authentically means to you, is what I want to help you with.I want to inspire you to live in a way that is sustainable–healthy, joy-filled, intentional, and fun. I am so excited to share my journey and hopefully inspire you all along the way. I have said it before and I will say it again, life is filled with ups and downs. Things won't always be amazing and that is okay. You will feel lost and alone and like life is moving nowhere. Remember, loneliness is inevitable but it isn't bad! There is always room to grow, learn, and keep your heart open to endless possibilities.I am so grateful for the incredible people in my life and for you all. This platform is something that always brings me so much comfort. It is a place that I truly feel seen for who I am. So, thank you for that. I always hope to do the same for you.