Feeling Overstimulated in a Media Driven World

I have had this post in my drafts for about a month now. I am not really sure why I haven't posted it–maybe because I realized that this over stimulation is inevitable but it can be manageable. In today's society, completely logging off of all your social media accounts is almost unheard of and honestly, I have no desire to. While too much can make you feel overstimulated, social media is a place that can help you feel connected and remind you that we are a part of something so much bigger. More on what I learned towards the end of this post...For the past 5 or so years of my life, social media has guided my life, my confidence, and people's perception of me. What started out as a fun place to share pictures, thoughts, and ideas has turned into something that not only has consumed my life but also the life of thousands of other people.I've admitted that I have an addiction to my phone for years now. Be honest with yourself, who doesn't? Without having a term for it, I have felt overstimulated for quite some time. I remember at the end of last semester, I wanted to try a "social media cleanse." While this didn't ever happen, I did turn off push notifications for all social media apps and that did make things better...for a while.

i am in a dedicated relationship with my phone

Before this "cleanse," I remember thinking that I have felt disconnected from my life. I felt like I need to take some time and reflect and be present in my life. And in all honesty, social media is one of the biggest reasons that I was so disconnected.I have gotten into this habit of mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram feeds. I have gotten into the habit of watching “What I Eat in A Day” videos and “20K Calorie Challenge” videos on YouTube. I found myself not being able to do anything, eat anything, or be with anyone without posting an update to either (usually both) my Snapchat and Instagram story.But why? Who am I posting this for? If someone would ask me, of course I would say that I’m posting them for myself but I’m done lying to myself. We live in a society where our entire lives are posted on social media and most of the time, things are posted in order to prove to your followers that you are “cool” or “healthy” or “popular” or whatever you want to be associated with.

fast forward a few months

Surprise surprise, I still feel the same way. This month I am trying to be more intentional with my phone use. Because of this, I have realized a lot of things. I have realized how many people just snapchat me to "keep in touch" instead of actually texting or calling me. I have realized that I mindlessly like people's Instagram pictures and watch their stories even though I quite frankly could care less what they are doing. We are living in a society where our lives are overshared. A society where people post things to look cool or #trendy but in reality, who gives a f*ck?!Because it has been such a trend in the past year, think about people you know who have taken a break from social media. Unless you were best friends with them, did you even notice they were gone? Probably not.

so what am I going to do about it?

Launching my Instagram for Naturally Nicoletta has also opened my eyes to a lot. I can see who actually cares about what I'm doing, saying, and posting about. I've noticed that @naturallynicoletta is so much more authentic that my personal Instagram has ever been. On my personal, I only post the pictures of the coolest things I do, where I look the best and look the trendiest. I mean of course I am cool and always look good but the more I think about it, the more i realize that my Instagram is such a false perception of who I actually am.There are so many pictures I would restrict myself from posting because it wouldn't get enough likes or wouldn't look good in my aesthetic. But by restricting myself, I am diminishing those parts of myself. There are so many places or events that I went to that I didn't enjoy because I couldn't get a good picture. So many times where I was too busy Snapchatting every second and I completely missed out on it all.I do hate that I let the social media driven society to take over my life. So instead of looking back on how obsessed I have become over all of this–I have decided to make a change.

a small change.

But it's still better than nothing.Now don't think that I was original with this whole idea. My brother AND sister AND best friend all have said "see ya later!" to social media. A few months ago, I looked at them like I was crazy. But one night Gaby (my best friend) and I had a loooooong talk about this and I realized that I had just been in denial about my social media addiction.

so, what did I do?

First, I logged out of my personal Instagram. I will probably get back on eventually but I feel like I just need to disconnect for a sec. Second, I got rid of Snapchat. I didn't delete it (too many priceless Snapchat memories in there) but I'm over it and tired of just sending pictures of myself to people for reassurance about how I look #lame.This doesn't seem like much, but for me, it's a lot. It is getting rid of all the time I spend clicking through all the Snapchat stories, all the Instagram stories, liking all the Instagram pictures, and mindlessly scrolling through the explore page.So for now, I'll just stick to @naturallynicoletta on Instagram – I feel that it shows my most authentic self and I really don't have to try too hard. Plus, I really do take pleasure out of engaging with other bloggers and people that I look up to. Oh, I'm keeping Facebook just because of several groups at school that I'm in and to post pictures for my fam (shoutout to my Mamaw, I love you!!)–but I are going to try to limit my time looking at memes and Tasty videos.One more thing that I am going to try to do? Limit my phone time in general. I am going to attempt to not be on any technology at least one hour before bed and 30 minutes-1 hour after I wake up. I want to read more, journal more, and just disconnect from this constantly plugged-in world.So here goes nothing.

about one month later...

Let's admit it, I still have a pretty dang serious relationship with my phone. You know what? I'm not ashamed about it. While this relationship is no longer toxic (energy draining, affecting my mood, etc.), I do still enjoy social media and using my phone. I have realized that I can control what I use my phone/social media for. I don't have to follow every single person that follows me because I feel bad if I don't. I don't have to keep up Snapchat streaks anymore. I have started to use social media for myself and not anyone else.Yes, I am the most active on my blog Instagram account because that is what fulfills me the most. (Although I still have been posting on my personal Instagram–because I like sharing the best moments of my life.) But, I have stopped the mindless scrolling and constantly being fake towards people I feel obligated to like. Occasionally, I get on Snapchat but I have lost all of my streaks and frankly, could care less to watch the stories of all of my friends on there.I don't see this little phone cleanse experiment as a failure, I see it more as something that has raised my awareness towards my habits and tendencies. Now, I feel more connected and intentional with my phone use. I also feel more content with my opinions and no longer feel obligated to post certain things, look a certain way, keep up a certain persona, etc. I am beginning to be more authentic. More me. More...Naturally Nicoletta (OK, cheesy, I know, but I had to).Here's to being a little more intentional with not only our phone use, but rather, everything we do in life.XONikki